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A Reason to Watch Soccer…Actually the ONLY Reason

August 25th, 2010 by admin

There are so many things wrong with soccer (don’t get me started) but one thing that they have right over our football is sideline reporters.    While the NFL’s sidelines are filled with “land mines” like Michelle Tafoya and Suzy Kolber, soccer is rolling out legit 10’s like Ines Sainz.  Ines is the Brazilian bombshell who is solely responsible for me giving a shit about this pansy sport.  Someone at ESPN or ABC make a great executive decision and get this girl. Who cares if she can’t speak English?  I mean Suzy Kolber hasn’t done anything of relevance since Joe Namath tried making out with her on the sidelines.

 

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40oz of Fantasy Presents: Camp Report

August 24th, 2010 by admin

Sidney Rice WR (Minnesota): looks like he wasn’t just trying to avoid camp like #4 did. Rice’s surgery was successful. He is expected to miss at least the first half of the season, but I’d be surprised if he made it back this season. You can now officially take Rice off your draft boards. This spells trouble for the Vikings, especially with Percy Harvin troubled by migraines.

Darrell Revis CB (New York): the Jets D will still be a good one without him, but with him they’re a top 5 defense. “Revis Island” must want an airport because he’s looking for 162 million dollars over 10 yrs. That is Peyton Manning type of money and I don’t see the Jets making the deal. Maybe Cromartie has a child old enough to fill in for Revis.
Sam Bradford QB (St. Louis): this news is more for the value of Steven Jackson, because Bradford is undraftable at this time. Looks like he will be getting the start in Week 3 of the preseason and now with A.J. Feeley hurt he will more than likely start off the season as the starter. Why is this news for Steven Jackson? Well because with Feeley, a veteran QB this offense was terrible. Now with a rookie, it is unwatchable.
Chaz Schilens WR (Oakland): Chaz can not seem to stay healthy ever. He might need surgery on his knee; Coach Cable is hoping it’s just a scope and that he’ll be ready for week 1. This hurts Jason Campbell’s stock, but helps Louis Murphy’s value. Schilens should not be drafted and has been downgraded to a waiver wire agent.
Kareem Huggins RB (Tampa Bay): while the Bucs have very few players that are draftable, I would keep my eye on this kid. With Cadillac Williams having major knee issues from the past, Kareem would be worth a late pick. He has unseated Derrick Ward as the 2nd back in Tampa and Coach Morris seems to really like him.

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40oz of Fantasy Presents: Mr. X-pert’s Lock Pick

August 23rd, 2010 by admin

 I had a productive weekend going 3 for 4. The fix was in when I had Joe Webb (Vikings 4th string QB) take a safety with no time remaining to cover my 49ers bet.  Mr. X is SO hot right, just like HANSEL.

Tonight’s game pins two QBs who faced off against each other in the 2006 National Championship game.  Since that memorable game Leinart and Young both have had their NFL struggles, but they’ve coped with their problems much differently; Vince likes to take ecstasy and dance shirtless with dudes, while Matt is out crushn’ ass at every Frat house mixer in Arizona.

Mr. X takes Arizona and the points, because I rather party with college chicks then shirtless dudes with glow sticks

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Crushn’ it with Captain Cade McNown

August 23rd, 2010 by admin

 

Cade McNown entered the NFL draft in 1999, in a year that was considered a very stellar quarterback draft class.  McNown was drafted 12th overall by the Bears, and along with fellow superstars Tim Couch (#1) and Akili Smith (#3) sucked major balls.  1999 was also an eventful year off the field for Cade, being investigated by the FBI for point shaving at UCLA and also being charged with illegal possession of a handicapped parking pass, I bet because McNown liked watching handicapped people make handicapped faces when he got out of his car.  At this point it didn’t seem like McNown cared much about football, holding out most of training camp and concentrating more on crushing ass than football, and when he finally did play sucked donkey dick. To his credit McNown did slam some serious ass, banging sluts from the Playboy mansion left and right. Cade next decided to take his game (women, not football) to a new level, stealing Tim Couch’s girl (Heather Kozar) by buying her a Porsche and constantly calling her, won her gold-digging heart only to toss her to the curb, at which point she went back with Couch giving McNown plenty of firepower for prank calls to Couch (I fucked yo girl, Tim!). Cade then went for the mother load stealing Hugh Hefner’s girl Brande Roderick, going on a vacation to Mexico together and getting himself banned from the mansion for life.  Needless to say this was all during his short NFL Career of 4 years, his last team being the 49ers; he was cut after spending the year on the IR, probably sidelined with a broken dick. Cade now spends his time working as the V.P. of an investment firm and is married.  But Crush’n Cade McNown could always look back at those 4 years and say, “Damn, if I was only good at football I might have been able to stretch out banging hot chicks with fake tits a little bit longer.”

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40oz of Fantasy Presents: Camp Report

August 23rd, 2010 by admin

Sidney Rice WR (Minnesota): looks like the season opener is up in the air for last year’s break out star. This also could be a ploy to not go though training camp, but what kind of scumbag would do that?!

Arian Foster RB (Houston): Looks like we might have a winner in the starting running back derby. This may be an early preseason report, but it looks like Foster will be the starting back with Slaton acting as the change of pace back.

Javon Walker WR (Free Agent): yes, you are reading the name correctly, Javon Walker is making an attempt at a return to the NFL. The Vikings have brought in this former bust for a shot at a roster spot. This is due to the fact that Percy Harvin and Sidney Rice can’t get themselves on the field.

Percy Harvin WR (Minnesota): Mr. Versatility returned to the sidelines after a scary collapse during practice yesterday. Bother by migraines since his days at Florida, Harvin sat out the first two weeks of camp because of them. There is no talk of him missing the start of the season, but migraines can come at any time. Draft him with caution.

C.J. Spiller RB (Buffalo): one may think that 40oz has a man crush on him, but what can we say he looks for real. Anybody that saw his run the other night against the Colts would agree, even his coach. Gailey heaped praises at his prized possession after their victory. Right now, Spiller is the lone wolf in this backfield with Fred Jackson and Lynch out due to injuries. We can’t tell if Spiller will be the starter come opening day, but look for him to make an immediate impact and could even start by midseason. I mean if you have a Porsche and leave it in the garage, then what’s the point??

Vincent Jackson WR (San Diego): the Chargers have given the Seahawks permission to speak with the star wide out about a new contract. Keep in mind that he’ll face a 4 game suspension when he does return.

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40oz of Fantasy Presents: Mr. X-pert’s Lock Pick

August 22nd, 2010 by Suge

 

 
 

Vikings @ 49ers 8:00pm

49ers -3

 

Mike Singletary does not like to lose PERIOD. Young team with a lot of energy looking to make a statement. What do you have with the Vikings? The complete opposite.  Better chance of Favre retiring, then playing.  Both backup QB’s for the Vikings are terrible and Percy Harvin will be vomiting on the sideline.  Good luck with your head, mine is killing me.

 

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40oz of Fantasy Presents: Mr. X-pert’s Lock Pick

August 21st, 2010 by Suge

Lions  @ Broncos  9:00pm

Lions  +3

Best way to put this is the Broncos are a mess.   Everyone and there momma is going to bet the Broncos, because of their crushes with Tim Tebow.  Why, because they’re stupid, he might not even play.   Nobody in the past 10 years has bet the Lions and the trend is going to continue.   Vegas knows you won’t bet the Lions. That’s why I LOVE them.   Plus, how can you not root for Matthew Stafford.  I LOVE how he lives his life.  Take the Lions and the points

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