posted by Will

For all of us awaiting Dez Bryant’s pro day to accurately gauge his draft status and pro potential, Bryant proved to be every bit of the over hyped, no skill, piece of shit thug posing as a football player that many of us thought he was.

Bryant began his pro day by stripping down into nothing but cleats and a pair of Under Armor jock shorts to show off his amazing 224 pound body, which was crammed inside a run of the mill 6’1” frame. He ran a 4.5 40 and followed it up with 4.6 for good measure, which would have been semi-acceptable if he were 6’5” or a strong safety. He showed his true character when after falling over himself in the 3-cone and short shuttle drills; he QUIT and didn’t even complete the drills enough to record a time. Sure he broad jumped 11.1 feet and recorded a 38 inch vertical, but just about every other aspect of his workout was so pathetic that halfway through, most scouts were looking for the next plane out of the Lufkin Texas Airport/Haircare/Tirecenter (thank you Ron White, you are my idol). After watching him stumble through a grab-assitcal excuse for a route tree, dropping several lollipop tosses, and showing zero burst after making the catch, I was forced to question what the hell people saw in him to begin with.  

“But Will, he is an impressive athlete and was so productive in college…” Yep, so was Charles Rogers, Peter Warrick, Desmond Howard…shall I go on? Athletes can put up numbers in college, only football players make it in the league. If you don’t understand the difference and think your team needs to draft a David Boston clone that can’t catch, run routes, and will most likely spend more time suspended then on the field, please feel free to punch yourself in the nuts and in your best soprano, sing this lovely melody, “Will is right, I am wrong, Will is right…” You’re welcome.